Thresholds of Change: The Transformative Power in Practicing Good Self-Care

I have often heard people of call comment that the sermon they most needed to preach was the one they most needed to hear. Show of hands? My hand went up.  The same could be said of self-care. We need to preach this sermon to ourselves all the time. To cross the threshold to improved care of self, it’s important to know that the stress you are currently living with is not helping you live well. One of my patients recently told me she was tired of riding the ‘Hot Mess Express.’ If this is you, then let’s get going learning other things that will help. 

To set the stage, here is a working definition of stress. It is defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation(s). It can also arise from thoughts and stories we tell ourselves about difficult situations. Not surprisingly, it appears that many of us in the “people of call” world have not learned healthy strategies to use in coping with the stress in our lives. It’s highly likely many live with what is referred to as learned stress that has travelled through generations in our family of origin. Worse, stress is often glorified as a badge of honor. These days, “I’m SO stressed!” seems like a rallying cry! It then leads to all sorts of negative attention, thoughts and feelings that are ultimately of no help at all, leaving you still stressed with company you may not want to keep. 

Our bodies respond to stress in several ways to deal with the difficult feelings associated with distress. Primarily, sustained stress causes inflammation in our bodies and can lead to many other consequential yet completely preventable lifestyle-related health issues such as hypertension, diabetes and decreased immune function. Learning how to recognize and get stress under control is at the top of this list of life issues in need of help. While there is also good stress, the kind that energizes you and helps you to get things done—we will be focusing on the negative impact of stress and what you can do.

An important step to changing the stress response pattern is to begin to recognize when you are in a state of too much stress. It can present in a number of ways, such as quickened breathing, increased blood pressure/heart rate, tension in your shoulders, lack of appetite or overeating. Fear, worry, irritability or a quick temper. A headache. Giving up. Not feeling good enough. Feelings of panic. There are more, but these are cues most of us recognize. 

Turning Down the Volume

In the November 2024 PBUCC Gateway newsletter, I introduced you to Lifestyle Medicine skills known as “pillars” of health that are extraordinarily useful in developing strong self-care practices. In utilizing what each has to offer, it leads to a more integrated sense of self and lets us function with greater ease and energy. Specifically, turning down the volume on stress triggers awareness and makes room for strategies that will make room for you to be a happier, calmer self.

Since it is likely you are sitting as you read this, now is the perfect time to take a moment to cross a self-care threshold by trying this one reliably simple stress-reducing practice. It is easy, calming, and you can do it pretty much anywhere. Sit quietly with both feet on the floor and get comfortable. Close your eyes. Maybe you’d like to put your hands over your heart or rest them, palms up, in your lap. Take a slow breath in and fill your lungs. Exhale slowly, pushing every bit of air out of your lungs as you say a comforting word or phrase like “God is love,” or “I am safe,” or “I deserve to be healthy.” Whatever feels right for you. Doing this one practice can create a feeling of centered calm. Do it often and notice the positive results.

Here is a list of practices to try and learn about to better manage/relieve stress:

1. Go for a walk; move your body! This releases good brain chemicals that promote well-being.
2. Connect with friends and share what is going on with you.
3. Spiritual practices matter. Do something that connects you to your faith.
4. Regularly get a good night’s sleep. Seek out a CBT-Insomnia specialist for help.
5. Work on your nutrition and diet. Eating a healthy diet, especially plant-based, sets up a healthier you. Food is medicine! Drink green tea for its antioxidant properties.
6. Drink WATER. Dehydration deprives our bodies of necessary water, which our cells and organs need to thrive. Five 12-ounce glasses per day is great.
7. Positive Psychology recommends happiness and gratitude practices such as identifying three things that are going well or are good in your life on a daily basis. Doing so triggers the release of good hormones, whose effects can be felt all day and even for several days. Share these gratitudes with your family and friends.
8. Seek a qualified CBT therapist to deepen your skill set.
9. Medications, if indicated, are an option to explore with your primary care physician.

Finally, no discussion of a commitment to change would be complete without a nod to SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-bound) goals.  They work and help you stay committed to making and sustaining change. An example of this is committing to writing three gratitudes each morning for one week. It’s simple, realistic and easy to do.  That’s the best thing: anyone can do it. 

I hope that you find these stress reduction suggestions helpful. It gives you a place to start, a threshold to cross. If you are ready to make change, start small and start somewhere. Choose a practice and begin.  Set a SMART goal to increase your chances of successful transformation. Hopefully, you will choose something you find deliciously helpful that leaves you wanting to do it more. Perhaps you are more of an omnivore, trying several things. You will know best. The main thing is to regularly engage in at least one of them. It will give you hope that transforms you so you can move through your world with a stronger and more real sense of inner peace and calm.

As a teaser for the next installment where we will talk about healthy eating/food as medicine, check out this app: Daily Dozen. It’s free and easily the best app to both develop awareness and help make changes in your eating habits. 

Here's to your greater health and wellbeing! Make it so!

Resource apps: Calm, Headspace, Insight Timer.

For more information, please watch this short video on Stress Management provided by The American College of Lifestyle Medicine.